I was planning a trip to L.A. to see some girlfriends. We were flying in from different parts of the world and it was supposed to be a few days of fun, rest and relaxation. No one was bringing their kids.
But it was eating me up. How could I be near Disneyland and not take my three year old? Even though I chose a flexible career that allows me to spend lots of time with my son, the working mother in me felt guilty!
Yet in weighing the pros and cons, I knew he wouldn’t really enjoy Disneyland to the fullest at his young age (that big black mouse would probably scare him to death) and missing nap times to make the most of those expensive tickets would guarantee a cranky child and cranky mom!
After talking to my friends and family, I was assured my son wouldn’t remember Disneyland at his age and that it was a good thing for me to enjoy a get away with my girlfriends. At last I felt satisfied with my decision and I booked my solo ticket.
What’s the point of the story? Even though I knew what was right for me - a few days away from it all – I needed permission. I wanted someone to validate my feelings and support what I really wanted to do.
Permission is a form of endorsement from other people. We need someone to give blessing to a course of action in our hearts we want to follow, but somehow can’t allow ourselves to pursue.
Sometimes we need advice from an expert, but more often it’s permission from our loved ones, friends and ultimately, ourselves. To live our life vision, we need to become better at giving ourselves permission to choose what feels right and then act on it.
It’s not about acting selfishly, but about living according to our own values and priorities, not somebody else’s. Otherwise, we might be giving up too much of our lives to meet other people’s goals.
Whether you’re making plans for a vacation or considering a career change, listen to your inner voice and intuition and let it guide you.
Giving yourself permission can help you take more control of your life.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Elena is founder of a technology PR agency that works with startups to billion-dollar companies. She is passionate about helping marketers and small business owners with practical publicity strategies.
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How true it is that we often seek permission from others about something we know in our heart of hearts is the right step for us. I often find myself selling the answer that I want until I get it.
Crazy huh?
I’d save a lot more time and energy if I just went ahead and gave myself permission in the first place.
Thanks for the reminder!
.-= Angela Mahler´s last blog ..Get the Spirit with the Amethyst Galactica Bracelet =-.
We often think that time away from our family with our girlfriends is selfish time. Reframing it helps so much. We really can NOT give what we don’t have. Spending time with friends refuels moms. When you return to your family you are refreshed and ready to parent effectively and happily! So, when you are feeling selfish about time with friends know that you are doing it for EVERYONE in your family.
Finding those all-important friends is made easy for moms at truebluematch.com.
It is a great goal to try to spend some face to face time with friends each week…even an hour at a coffee shop can give you the lift you need!
Absolutely Christine, we need to refuel as you pointed out. I also liken this to how flight attendants on a plane tell us to put on our oxygen masks first in an emergency before trying to help others. Because we won’t be any good to others, including our kids if we pass out!
What a wonderful post–and timely as well since I am in the midst of making some critical professional and personal decisions. Thanks for the insight and the reminder that it’s okay to give ourselves permission to do what we feel is right for us. I need to not only remember that but do that very thing right now: I know best what is best for me!
Maddy – take some quiet time and listen to yourself. You really do know what you want, if you just give yourself the opportunity to acknowledge and admit it! Best of luck with your decisions.
[...] simply doing what our intuition or our heart tells us is right). To read the complete post click here.“Permission is a form of endorsement from other people. We need someone to give blessing to a [...]