I’m a perfectionist. I have to have things “just so”. Everything has its place, there is only one way to do things – my way – and my standards of excellence are extremely high.
It’s been a strength that has served me well in business, as I push relentlessly for both quantity and quality with my clients. However, perfectionism can also be a weakness that can easily throw off work-life balance if left unchecked.
I have wasted so much time agonizing over perfecting a sentence in a proposal or tidying around the house that I have missed out on having fun with family and friends, which if I examine my values, are more important to me than new business or a clean house.
Lately, my best teacher in letting go are my kids. A favorite phrase is “never mind” and they teach me not to sweat the small stuff. When one spills chocolate ice cream on a crisp white shirt, he just shrugs and says “never mind mommy, it’s no big deal.” And it usually isn’t. At 4pm, they ask me repeatedly to go outside and play. I often go grudgingly and then have so much fun that I wonder why I even resisted. They help me remember that it is always people first, before appearances or material things.
We often think of pressure as being exerted from outside us, but we also bring a lot of it on ourselves. We are often our biggest bully without even realizing it.
Remember what is most important to you and honor those values. Letting go of type-A expectations and standards may be hard at first as you make a choice to be less than perfect. But remember that no one is perfect. We’re all just human after all.
What does it mean to be perfect?
What does it cost you in your life?
Elena is founder of a technology PR agency that works with startups to billion-dollar companies. She is passionate about helping marketers and small business owners with practical publicity strategies.
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Elena — you know you are talking directly to me! As a recovering perfectionist (who will never be fully recovered!), I know how hard we can be on ourselves and on others.
One thing I’ve been trying lately is to replace all those perfectionism cravings with one simple phrase (thank you Zahra Efan): “I am enough”. So much of trying to be perfect, for me, is to make up for not feeling like I am enough. Periodic reminder that I *am* enough, in fact I am abundantly enough, just as I am, helps me with the letting go and relaxing piece.
I hope this helps someone else!
Terri Z
.-= Terri Zwierzynski´s last blog ..Creating a 6-Figure Income (or Beyond) Wasn’t Meant to Be Done Alone =-.
Thanks so much for stopping by Terry! I love that phrase “I am enough” – stops me in my tracks of always trying to prove myself…to myself and others! I am enough and you are enough!
I used to worry about making things look all slick and polished, and to find things for my customers before they even know they need it. I stopped that — I figured out that it’s impossible to anticipate every need and they may not even like it! Instead of trying for perfection, I get done what is asked and then make suggestions. Sometimes they bite, sometimes they don’t, and sometimes they suggest something I never thought of. I get a happier me, and a happier customer, and generally more business because of it.
.-= Mike Hostetler´s last blog ..My own “Oh My ZSH” =-.
Mike, I know what you mean. It’s about giving clients what they want, and not what we think they need! LOL, I do that a lot too. Thanks for stopping by. Sending you my ebook!
[...] I could delegate and by breaking the jobs down into smaller chunks and putting timelines to it all, my perfectionist self lost its fear of [...]
As a recovering perfectionist I can relate to what you are saying here. I have seen many benefits, both personally and in my business, of letting go of perfectionist tendencies and embracing being OK with taking imperfect action and adopting a “good enough” mindset.
Those benefits are very powerful in helping me to steer clear of slipping back into perfectionism that isn’t healthy or actually gets in the way.
Ali Davies´s last [type] ..The Key To A Fulfilling Life AND A Thriving Business