Letting Go of Perfect
I have a confession to make:
I am a die-hard perfectionist.
Whew! Glad to get that off my chest 
I think many entrepreneurs share this feeling of needing everything to be “just so” before we can send something off to a client or move on to the next project. I’ve talked before about how perfectionism affects your work-life balance, but it can also hold you back in your life and business if left to grow wild.
- Are you waiting for your business to be in that “right place” before you start going for the clients you want to work with?
- Are you waiting to get that “right project” before finally charging what you’re worth?
- Are you waiting for your work-life balance to be “just right” before you finally take that vacation?
Pam Slim once said that, “The enemy of a new entrepreneur is endless planning and perfection.” And it’s true! If you keep waiting and trying to get to this imaginary place of perfection, you may blind yourself to the opportunities that are presented to you right now. As much as we want to plan and time everything right, life rarely follows a straight and narrow path. Read more
The Entrepreneur Time Out
It’s been a very busy summer for me. My PR company signed a bunch of new clients, ran several big campaigns and completely redesigned our website. Also, my 2 little kiddos have summer off from school so, in addition to running my company, it’s been a whirlwind of summer camps, soccer games and playdates.
Needless to say, I’ve been stressed out more than a few times since summer began.
I think one of the traits that all entrepreneurs share is the desire to accomplish as much as possible in one day. I know that I try to do as much as I can to make my family and my clients happy, but there does come a point where you need to step back before you burnout. I call this the “Entrepreneur Time Out.” Read more
How I Rebuilt My Destroyed Confidence
I’m honored to again have as a guest, Cameron Herold, one of my mentors. Cameron is a coach to CEOs in large corporations all around the world. After helping build multi-million dollar companies, Cameron is now a sought-after speaker, coach, and mentor. But in this post, Cameron shares a past few of us would have imagined for him. However, the fact that he overcame his academic challenges is an inspiration to us all.
I’ve never been a good student. I got about 64% in both high school and university. I’ve never felt smart. I’ve often felt like I have no idea what I’m really doing. And I often feel like I must be doing something wrong otherwise how could it be so easy?
My mind would spin with thoughts of ‘How could someone that was always told by the education system they were a C or D student actually be smart enough to really teach CEOs how to grow companies?’
Something started to change for me about six years ago, when I was already 38 years old.
Focus on Your Natural Gifts
I come from a family of race car drivers. My dad helped shape motor sports in the Philippines and my brothers are both champions and run a highly acclaimed racing school.
Me? Parallel parking brings on the sweats. I’ve backed my brother’s car into a fire hydrant and happily drove away without noticing it.
At first it really bugged me. I mean, shouldn’t this be easy? Shouldn’t this be in my genes?
But I’ve learned you can’t take things for granted. Even when something comes easy to someone else, don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t come easily for you. You’re an apple, and they’re an orange.
The surest road to hell is the “comparison syndrome.”
When A Fact of Life… Is Not
Many of us have a belief so powerful, it appears to be an unquestionable fact of life.
Some common examples are:
- “I need to make a lot of money to be successful”
- “My boss works late so I should be there too”
- “If I want something done right, I have to do it myself”
- “I have to be all things to all people”
Beliefs are assumptions we hold about how things should be, how people should behave and how the world works. It is a feeling of certainty we have about something. Often, we even blend together two facts into one disempowering belief.
The belief appears to be a fact of life and it’s not.
Living with a Life Sentence
Picture this. Two colleagues at work are given a challenging project. One holds the belief “I can learn what I want to learn.” The other holds the beliefs “I am not good enough. I am a fraud.”
Who do you think will do better?
The learner will approach the project with excitement. She will be confident, assured and eager to begin. She is not afraid of asking questions, does not feel threatened by getting others involved or exploring ideas.
The one who believes he isn’t good enough will act as if he isn’t good enough. Since that belief is firmly rooted in his subconscious, he will tackle the project more apprehensively, perhaps procrastinate or be unwilling to ask for help in case he gets “found out.” He will more likely interpret events in ways that are consistent with his belief of not being good enough. “There I go again, I knew I couldn’t do it. That’s just who I am.” As time goes by, he’ll continue to find ways of proving this to himself.
“Believing in yourself” is not just an everyday mantra. Who we believe ourselves to be significantly affects how we live our entire lives.
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Asking for Permission
I was planning a trip to L.A. to see some girlfriends. We were flying in from different parts of the world and it was supposed to be a few days of fun, rest and relaxation. No one was bringing their kids.
But it was eating me up. How could I be near Disneyland and not take my three year old? Even though I chose a flexible career that allows me to spend lots of time with my son, the working mother in me felt guilty!
Yet in weighing the pros and cons, I knew he wouldn’t really enjoy Disneyland to the fullest at his young age (that big black mouse would probably scare him to death) and missing nap times to make the most of those expensive tickets would guarantee a cranky child and cranky mom!
After talking to my friends and family, I was assured my son wouldn’t remember Disneyland at his age and that it was a good thing for me to enjoy a get away with my girlfriends. At last I felt satisfied with my decision and I booked my solo ticket.
It’s All in How You Look at Things
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at…change.”
-Wayne Dyer
I once had a client who was looking to change careers. She wanted to follow her passion and get a job in the environmental and sustainability sector, which was quite specialized and in a very competitive market.
After a few months of coaching and preparation, she started interviewing for a position and was very excited about a particular job where she had made the final cut – management was going to decide between her and another candidate.
Unfortunately, she didn’t get the job. She was very disappointed and started to question her professional competence.
Can she really transition to a new career?
The Importance of Acknowledging Your Strengths
I was coaching a client recently who was nervous about going to a networking event. This client is in a powerful position with a media company, and has lived and worked all around the world rubbing shoulders with very influential people. The reason she was nervous? She felt that she comes across as a “babbling idiot”.
Having known her a while, I knew this was far from the truth. In fact, she is an energetic, intelligent woman who inspires people. When I shared this with her, and that her passion for life attracts people to her who want a little bit of that zest she has, she had the courage to acknowledge that this was the truth! She went to the event keeping in mind the manner in which people really see her…and was amazed at how many leads she got.
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Do It Now
A friend of my mother’s recently passed away. It was all very sudden, and by all accounts she was a vibrant and healthy 62 year-old. My mother, who was widowed before she was 50, is shaken up every time a friend or loved one gets sick or dies.
“I have to do things now,” she always says. “I might not be around otherwise.” A sobering thought, but it has also given my mother a new energy about living and experiencing life to the fullest. She travels to far-off places she wants to see, and has chosen to work in an environment that gives her the flexibility to spend time with friends and family that are important to her. She may not be financially wealthy, but she is richer than many people I know.
And more 
