A friend of my mother’s recently passed away. It was all very sudden, and by all accounts she was a vibrant and healthy 62 year-old. My mother, who was widowed before she was 50, is shaken up every time a friend or loved one gets sick or dies.
“I have to do things now,” she always says. “I might not be around otherwise.” A sobering thought, but it has also given my mother a new energy about living and experiencing life to the fullest. She travels to far-off places she wants to see, and has chosen to work in an environment that gives her the flexibility to spend time with friends and family that are important to her. She may not be financially wealthy, but she is richer than many people I know.
Whether we are 20 or 90, we will never really know when we will die. And yet day after day, we do the mundane and the expected, thinking that one day when everything is “perfect”, we can get started on making our dreams come true. It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on this earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the last.
Steven Covey, who wrote the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, has endorsed the “eulogy approach” in his writings to bring to light what people would most regret if they waited too long to achieve their dreams.
What would your eulogy read if you died today? “He wanted to ________, too bad he died before he could do it.”
I’m not saying drop everything and be irresponsible, but everyday we make dozens, even hundreds of decisions to do or not do certain things. The choices we make, no matter how trivial they may seem, contribute to creating a life that is more (or less) fulfilling. The decisions we make move us toward our dreams, or they move us away.
It’s never too late to work on your dreams. What are you waiting for?
You might just achieve them, and wouldn’t that be wonderful.
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”
- Anonymous
Elena is founder of a technology PR agency that works with startups to billion-dollar companies. She is passionate about helping marketers and small business owners with practical publicity strategies.
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love your post! Sorry your mother lost her friend. What you said is sooo truthful. because of battling life-threatening disease, and have been given a month to live, numerous times over the last few years, I TOTALLY agree! You look at life very differently when it hangs in the balance!… and now I live about 70% of the time also bedridden due to spinal disease and tumors of the spine…so I cherish each moment!
.-= Cathy B´s last blog ..COMING SOON! Seaside and Resort Living Reviews! =-.
Unexpectedly sobering post from you on a chilly Friday morning, but a good one nonetheless. I decided to pursue a lifelong dream just before I turned 40. It’s not the safest endeavor (I wanted to adopt/re-train/ride a Thoroughbred ex-racehorse)and I’m glad I went ahead and did it – it’s fun, but physically tough, and not something I’d want to face when I’m older! I’m already less good at bouncing than I once was…
Profound post Elena. Hits home with me with 3 deaths in my family, 3 years in a row – 25 yo nephew couple months ago & 2 older sisters. One of which was my first female mentor. Devastating times mentally, emotionally & spiritually for me, but posts like this help to re-ignite & inspire to forge ahead.
Thank you for sharing. Your mom is a very wise woman.
Ros – I’m so sorry to hear that. They say the things that challenge us, only serve to make us stronger. From what I know of you, you’re a real fighter and survivor and inspire others. Thank you for sharing and I hope you’ll find some solace and light soon. Hugs.
Sarah – once in a while I think reflecting on the end of our lives makes us appreciate and live our lives more fully in the present, don’t you think? What a thrilling dream for you to pursue and it sounds like you are enjoying it, despite the physical hardship. Turning 40 seems to be a milestone where we reach out for our dreams! I learned to swim at 40…and promptly signed up (and finished) a triathlon. Thanks for stopping by.
Cathy – wow. You of all people understand where I am coming from with this post. And it seems you are living as fully as you can even with your life hanging in the balance. Thanks for inspiring me today.
Elena,
What a post! This is an on time message for me. Thank you!
Enjoy your weekend Meredith – and do what you love, with the people you love.
Thank you for covering this subject so well. It’s a pity we wait until we lose someone close, or are touched by illness before we take stock of our lives.
I always say nobody wishes they’d spent more time at work when they’re about to die!
You’re absolutely right Linda. Work – even the most enjoyable kind – is only one part of a whole life!
You made me stop and think – I am seeing this more and more with my husband. He just looks at his age and thinks as you said. “I always thought I would do—- or I will never do—now.” My problem is I have too many involvements with family and other obligations so I do tend to neglect my talents. I also have a tendency to procrastinate when I have a demanding paperwork job and I am not sure how to go about it. I am realizing that this is more exhausting than just doing it and getting it wrong and having to redo. Thanks for this blog- it really made me stop and regroup. I will try to stop doing the easy thing on the to-do list first because you can always find another easy thing to do.
lindac
Great post.
My Mum was the opposite to your Mum. She put everything off until she retired; she died at 49!!!
Consequently, I am more like your Mum. I do whatever I can at that moment. Maybe I’m too spontaneous sometimes.I am not stupidly impulsive, but I set goals, and I just go for them. I guess I now live with the fear your Mum now has (and it is a fear that I will an opportunity).
Sorry! last parenthesis should read
(“and it is a fear that I will miss an opportunity”).
Linda just take one small step so that you don’t get overwhelmed. It gets easier with practice
When you get those small “wins” – that gives you more incentive to do more, now!
Vanessa – you and I have something in common…my dad died at 50 and that has completely changed my outlook in life. Whenever I get stressed or worried I remember my last few conversations with him and his regrets that he didn’t do the simple things that would have brought him more joy. Yes, there will always be opportunities for you and for me! Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate your candor.