I was coaching a client recently who was nervous about going to a networking event. This client is in a powerful position with a media company, and has lived and worked all around the world rubbing shoulders with very influential people. The reason she was nervous? She felt that she comes across as a “babbling idiot”.
Having known her a while, I knew this was far from the truth. In fact, she is an energetic, intelligent woman who inspires people. When I shared this with her, and that her passion for life attracts people to her who want a little bit of that zest she has, she had the courage to acknowledge that this was the truth! She went to the event keeping in mind the manner in which people really see her…and was amazed at how many leads she got.
Let’s face it. It’s so easy to identify and talk about our fears, insecurities and faults – after all, we have a long list. But how many of us can easily say what is great about us? What our strengths are, and focus on them instead of our weaknesses?
It takes guts to admit to oneself, let alone others, that we are good, lovable… and maybe even powerful. Our automatic programming tells us to “fix” the weaker parts of our being instead of celebrating our success and brilliance. Society has taught us that you don’t want to be an underachiever, but many of us don’t feel comfortable standing out above the crowd either. To do so would attract undue attention (who wants that!), or threaten others and then people won’t like us or love us.
If you don’t claim who you really are and want to become, you cannot live your best life. Identifying your strengths allows you to more easily tackle not only the daily struggles of life, but also your big dreams.
Think about your natural talents, special gifts or traits. By articulating and claiming who you are, you can bring more of your energy into nurturing your strengths instead of focusing on your weaknesses. Which kind of life would you prefer?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”
Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so other people won’t feel insecure around you…as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
- Nelson Mandela, 1994 Inaugural Speech
Elena is founder of a technology PR agency that works with startups to billion-dollar companies. She is passionate about helping marketers and small business owners with practical publicity strategies.
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Wow! I’m going to save that Nelson Mandela quote to read it more often.
Brilliant post! It really doesn’t serve the world to think badly of yourself. But somehow that never occurred to me until your post. Thank you!
.-= Slava´s last blog ..The Bastei Bridge – Connecting to Nature in Germany =-.
Thank you Slava! Let your light shine!
I love this! When I was in elementary school, I was a pretty smart kid, but I sometimes acted dumb in class because I thought it would get people to like me – who likes the kid who always raises her hand to answer questions?? My mom told me to never be ashamed of having a talent, and now that I’m older, I can see she was absolutely right. But I still get nervous before going to networking events. Thanks for sharing this!
Wow, We just had a very similar conversation in my small mastermind group. It got me thinking, now my wheels are really spinning. We do sell ourselves short too often. It’s good to list as many accomplishments as we can think of both past and present. I did this yesterday and was surprised at how many of my successes I wasn’t counting! I enjoy your blog very much Elena. Thanks!
Blessings,
Celene Harrelson
.-= TheHappypreneur´s last blog ..How To Create A Squeeze Page and Build Your List Promoting Affiliate Products =-.
Brooke – it’s amazing what we unconsciously learn to do in order to “protect” ourselves. It’s so great your mom was so encouraging! As a parent, I often do the same to my children knowing they may not understand now, but it will all make sense later. Thanks for your comment
Thank you so much Celene – I recognize you from Twitter and love your company name. Just the other day one of my mentors reminded me of MY strengths! We so often forget to acknowledge ourselves don’t we?
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