Asking for Permission

I was planning a trip to L.A. to see some friends. We were flying in from different parts of the world and it was supposed to be a few days of fun, rest and relaxation. No one was bringing their kids.

But it was eating me up. How could I be near Disneyland and not take my kid? Even though I chose a flexible career that allows me to spend lots of time with my child, the parent in me felt guilty!

Yet in weighing the pros and cons, I knew he wouldn’t really enjoy Disneyland to the fullest at his young age (that big black mouse would probably scare him to death) and missing nap times to make the most of those expensive tickets would guarantee a cranky child and cranky parent!

After talking to my friends and family, I was assured my child wouldn’t remember Disneyland at his age and that it was a good thing for me to enjoy a get away with my girlfriends. At last I felt satisfied with my decision and I booked my solo ticket.

What’s the point of the story? Even though I knew what was right for me –  ­ a few days away from it all – I needed permission. I wanted someone to validate my feelings and support what I really wanted to do.

Permission is a form of endorsement from other people. We need someone to give blessing to a course of action in our hearts we want to follow, but somehow can’t allow ourselves to pursue.

Sometimes we need advice from an expert, but more often it’s permission from our loved ones, friends and ultimately, ourselves. To live our life vision, we need to become better at giving ourselves permission to choose what feels right and then act on it.

It’s not about acting selfishly, but about living according to our own values and priorities, not somebody else’s. Otherwise, we might be giving up too much of our lives to meet other people’s goals.

Whether you’re making plans for a vacation or considering a career change, listen to your inner voice and intuition and let it guide you.

Giving yourself permission can help you take more control of your life.